'Twas Coupling, and The Weakest Link,
Were being repeated all the time;
All FRV and gardening shows,
As the plastic idents chime.

"Beware the Janearoot, my son!
The evil that runs the magic box!
Beware Ricky Gervais, and Bottom repeats,
And always Mind The Buzzcocks!"

He looked at the listings of BBC2:
Long time he wished to stop it's crimes--
So took his pencil in his hand,
And wrote a letter to the Radio Times.

And, as the stamp he took to lick,
The Janearoot, with pen in hand,
Came cancelling The Goodies Night,
Thus making life more bland.

And sign! And seal! And fold and post,
The letter travelled along Wood Lane's track!
It convinced Greg Dyke, and within a day
He had got the bitch the sack.

"Was given the shaft the Janearoot?
That news is good," he said, quite glad.
"But alas! Oy vey! She's been replaced
With someone just as bad!"

'Twas Ground Force, and the "I Love..." shows,
Were being repeated all the time;
All celebrity chefs and World Of Pub,
As the plastic idents chime.

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(With apologies to Lewis Carroll, but none to Jane Root.)