Angus Deayton. Harry Enfield. Steve Coogan. Johnny Vaughan. Al Murray. Lee Evans. Lee Evans? Yes, even Lee Evans. All these men have multi-million pound contracts with various television companies and the power to make Director Generals fall to their knees crying their eyes out as they see the ratings for their latest sitcom disasters. Yes, despite being not very good they can still command pretty much what they like, from blonde nymphomaniac groupies to a six part series of Hammer movie spoofs. However, on the opposite end of the spectrum, there are those who cannot even ask for a thirty minute one-off pilot and a working fan in their dressing room. Hell, they'd be lucky to even have a dressing room. And so, after literally minutes slaving over a hot computer with only a fridge full of chocolate for company (incidentally, one of Clint Eastwood's last contributions with Sergio Leone was called 'A Fridgeful Of Chocolate'), and by employing my exhaustive research facilities, by letting loose all my originality, and by nicking an article from a recent MAD Magazine, I have created the definitive list of The Twenty-Five Least Powerful People In Comedy. And no, I'm not on it. And neither are you. OR ARE YOU? No, you're not.

And now, without futher ado (although strictly speaking this intro counts as 'futher ado', whatever that may be),
Squidy's Website is, well, not proud strictly speaking, but pretty darn chuffed I can tell you, to finally present:

The Twenty-Five Least Powerful People In Comedy

· Mark Heap.

· Third man to the right in Otto's Suicide Squad in a scene cut from Monty Python's Life Of Brian.

· Lin Cook.

· The man who sings "So nice" on those songs at the end of TV Offal.

· Dave Gorman #53.

· The man who plays saxophone on Spitting Image records.

· Ken Morse.

· That guy who played Ben in I'm Alan Partridge.

· Victor Lownes.

· The man on the 1985 Central christmas tape who sings 'I'm Just A VTR Drop-Out'.

· "Legs" Larry Smith's wife.

· The man cleans the inside of the Mister Blobby costume.

· Dave Gorman #32.

· The man who designs DVD menus for the Men Behaving Badly DVDs.

· The Richard Wattis estate.

· The man who fixes the printer that creates Monty Python toilet rolls.

· Sandra Caron.

· The man who operated Special Patrol Group.

· Bob Monkhouse's one remaining child.

· The man who drew pages 23 - 24 of the Comic Relief Comic, 1991.

· Dave Gorman #5 (the one who went to the studios and became Dave Gorman's assistant.).

· The second trumpet in Ronnie And The Rex.

· Colin Bean (Private Sponge in Dad's Army).

· The man with the key to the 'comedy' cabinet in Cheapo Cheapo.

· 'Anonymous' from the TV Forum.

· The man who does the .gif files for The Smokehammer.

· Dave Gorman.

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Hang on, that's twenty-seven people. Ah well, back to the drawing fridge.